The other day I was alternating between wondering whether or not the world exists, and wondering whether or not I'm insane. I'm still pretty up in the air about the whole matter, but I've decided that I prefer to think that the world is insane, and I don't exist.

You might laugh at that, but what makes YOU think I exist? The fact that I have a homepage? That I write things like these words you think you're reading right now? So basicly you just have my word that I exist, and I just told you I don't. Really now, ANYONE could have written this page. You assume that there's one person who goes by "pyre" who tells you all these stories, and gathers together strange links for you, because that's the most convenient way to think of it. (If you think of such things at all.) If you're at all interested in what you've seen on this site, you might even begin to get a vague perception, from the tone, subjects, and attitude of my writing, of my personallity.

But why does this personallity apparent in the words have to reside in one person, and do you think it's genuine? This site could be maintained by a committee, or some secret government group. Or each page could be written by an individual. The little quirks and phrases that are used repeatedly could have been predetermined in order to fake some sense of unity.

What would be the point, you ask? Why would the Illuminati want to create a second rate personal homepage, complete with a false author?
I don't exist, remember? To quote Mulder: "How the Hell should I know?"
It seems futile, at first glance, but maybe this isn't the only webpage fabricated by our aforementioned conspiracy. Maybe most of the "personalized" homepages you see are really created by some committee or other. Subliminal messages, clogging up the net, controlling the public's perceptions of what internet users are like; there's plenty of possible reasons for doing this. Maybe they keep records of everyone that clicks on that "Click here if you're some kind of pervert" link. You never know, do you?

On the other hand, it's possible that I'm quite horrendously insane. Now here's the rub: Am I delusional, or are my preconceptions of what should normally be percieved off base? If I told you the Grim Reaper was masturbating on top of my monitor right now, what would you think? That I'm hallucinating wildly? That the actual personification of the state of nonbeing really is spanking it above my screen? That I'm just making it up to prove a point, or because it makes interesting discussion? That I have a statue, or drawing, or something else like that depicting what I described, so that the statement's not technically false, but merely misleading? Or do you just figure that Death's gotta stroke his bone (bad pun!) like everyone else, and I'm sure as hell not gonna yell at Death to get off (another bad pun!) of my computer?

And then of course there's my delusion (call it faith, same difference) that there's a YOU for me to talk to. I can write all the words I like, but what makes me think that anyone's ever going to read them? Well they're out there anyway, and sometimes writing them is a nice form of catharsis. And if the contents of my webpage happen to somehow earn me fame and fortune, I'm certainly not going to argue with that. Now how's that for delusional thinking: fame and fortune from a homepage! Hell, I'd be happy with an occasional with the prospect of interesting conversation.

Was that last bit off-topic? Why? Should I be limited to constrain my self to the original intent of the early paragraphs? What delusion of sensibilities lead you to that conclusion? Well, okay then, here's a few things you can ponder for a while, and a sound that you can download while you read them:

Are the voices in your head REALLY just your own thoughts, or are some of them put there by someone/thing else? Could you necessarily tell the difference? If you can't tell the difference, does it matter? When you act on a thought in your mind, are you less in control if it came from someone else's mind or from your own subconscious?

If you pray, and you get an answer (auditory or visual message) is it proof of the existance of a higher power, or proof that you're losing your mind?

People who don't use hallucinigenic drugs generally believe that the things seen by those who do are meaningless products of a chemical damaging the user's brain. (Or something along those lines) But what if the hallucinations REALLY ARE visions of another plane of existance, or of another time, or into the mind of God, or of something else that is "real" ? But conversely, if the users are right, and they're expanding their planes of perception, does that change the fact that a lot of them wind up incredibly messed up from their experiences? Is it worse to be driven to madness by hallucination or by reality?

Remember, the World Wide Web only exists is because our browser software believes it does. (That's not originally mine, I got it from a book)

If you have repressed memories, that is, if something was so traumatic in your life that your mind blocked it out, might it not be best to leave them repressed? Does your mind know what's best for itself?

If you find out that you were Adolf Hitler in a past life: Does it change the way you view yourself? Does it change how you live your life? Should it change how other people treat you? If you don't remember past lives, how are you the same person? You're genes are different and your upbringing was different, how much does reincarnation bring along?

Well, those should be fun for a while. If anyone e~mails me asking for the "right" answers, I'm going to send conflicting ripples through space-time to rip them to shreds, because I certainly don't have any more of an inside track on the nature of the universe than any of the rest of you.